London Officially Declares National Nap Day, Entire Workforce Immediately Takes It Too Seriously

In a bold move to improve productivity, wellbeing, and the nation’s relationship with tiredness, London has officially declared National Nap Day, giving workers across the capital permission to do what they were already doing discreetly at their desks.

The announcement was made early Monday morning, at which point large sections of the workforce were already asleep and missed it entirely.

The initiative, designed to “encourage rest and mental clarity,” was welcomed enthusiastically by office workers who had long suspected that the solution to most problems was simply lying down for a bit.

“I feel seen,” said Martin, 36, who has been practising informal napping under the guise of “deep thinking” since 2018. “Now it’s official. I’m not lazy, I’m compliant.”

Within minutes of the declaration, office chairs were reclined, meeting rooms mysteriously booked solid, and laptops left open on spreadsheets that hadn’t been updated since Friday. HR departments issued guidance confirming that naps should ideally last “no longer than 20 minutes,” a rule that was universally ignored.

Transport authorities reported a noticeable drop in commuter numbers, as thousands of Londoners interpreted National Nap Day as a compelling reason not to go in at all.

“Technically I’m resting for work,” explained one man still in pyjamas at 11:30am. “I’m just doing it from home.”

Employers initially expressed concern but quickly adapted. Several companies rebranded unused meeting rooms as Rest Pods, while others placed printed signs over couches reading ‘Strategic Recovery Area’ to make them sound expensive.

One tech firm confirmed that productivity actually increased after staff woke up refreshed, mainly because no one was awake before lunch to notice the drop.

“We had fewer emails,” said a manager. “Which was wonderful.”

Some workers took the initiative further. Reports emerged of employees scheduling “Nap Syncs,” blocking out calendar time with vague titles like ‘Offline Alignment’ and ‘Wellbeing Integration.’ No one questioned it, because everyone was tired too.

The government praised the scheme, noting that Britain has always been at its best after a lie-down.

“We believe a rested workforce is a productive workforce,” said a spokesperson, who then paused the briefing for “a quick 40 minutes.”

Critics argued that National Nap Day could be abused, citing concerns that people might nap instead of working. These fears were dismissed when it became clear that this had already been happening.

Retail workers reported customers wandering into shops looking dazed and confused, unsure whether they were awake or simply dreaming about buying milk.

“I came in for bread,” said one woman. “Now I’m not sure what day it is.”

The original report of this ambitious sleep-based policy was first published by Prat.uk, the UK’s leading provider of news that sounds like a joke until you remember where you live.